OT Apology to FLEET and Y'all

[Millionaire Wussy]

As some here probably already know through certain OT threads in the past I experience difficulties in some areas of life. Pronounced difficulties with mood reactivity ( I have Borderline Personality Disrorder). Basically, it's' like I'm always PMS'ing. I know how that sounds. That's why I wrote it - it's the truth! Sometimes I just explode for no damn good reason. And I hurt people...never physically. But I say (or write as the case may be) stupid stuff that I regret like crazy later on. I tend not to get to close to people due to Social Anxiety issues on top of the Borderline mood stuff. I actually push people away to keep my own sense of self intact. And at age 52 I'm finally accepting it (I was diagnosed two separate times with BPD - two different Doctors).

I'm sharing this stuff because I think I may have over-reacted to Panama - among others - when he was here. I think I might have driven him away. And that affects everyone here as folks just want to talk football. And boy, did he ever like to talk football.

Anyhow, I know I've been strange on this board - and that's NOT counting the UFO and paranormal stuff. :dunno: I just want folks to know that I know I've been a pain in the ass here. I'm aware of that now.

Sorry!

[Boltx]

TBH I never noticed anything of the kind. Then again I don't take anything personally on here as I've known most posters here long enough to know everybody is a frustrated Bolt fan at heart.

Hope you are doing better!

[Screeme]

I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. I remember telling you a few years ago I thought you needed to see a doctor because of some quirky movement thing you had posted in a thread about paranormal stuff. I remember because I had checked in on it a few times to see if you ever did.

Truth is my wife also has BPD and anxiety (and a few other things to boot). For her it got really got bad a after our third baby. She has twice spent a week in the hospital for psych issues now.

She is doing a lot better now with a lot of therapy and medicine. But, and this is the hard part to accept, it is clear she will never be the same person she was pre-Atticus. However we've managed to make it work...

My point is, things may change for you, but try to stay positive. This is something that can be lived with, remember that when things get really hard.

Take care of yourself!

[6025]

Alex, I don't think it was you that drove Panama away, he was getting into some heated arguments with Yuba and that's when he left the group.

[KNSD]

You wouldn't be alex without being alex. No worries.

[SDFan]

I've known Panama since the early 1990s and can say with certainty you did not drive him away. He was very obviously frustrated with Yuba (who wasn't) but that problem got corrected. Panama has a very busy life and has disappeared from boards for long stretches before. In addition to being an Opera singer, I think he was running some Web based venture and had gotten engaged- and I'm guessing those events took up all his time and would make participating on Chargers boards during the last year's race to LA shitfest a super low priority for him.

[Mister Hoarse]

You're being too hard on yourself Kid.
SDfan is right about Panama, I've known him a long time myself from another board and whether he returns or not, he takes these long breaks all the time.
And shitfest sounds about right.

[Millionaire Wussy]

I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. I remember telling you a few years ago I thought you needed to see a doctor because of some quirky movement thing you had posted in a thread about paranormal stuff. I remember because I had checked in on it a few times to see if you ever did.

Truth is my wife also has BPD and anxiety (and a few other things to boot). For her it got really got bad a after our third baby. She has twice spent a week in the hospital for psych issues now.

She is doing a lot better now with a lot of therapy and medicine. But, and this is the hard part to accept, it is clear she will never be the same person she was pre-Atticus. However we've managed to make it work...

My point is, things may change for you, but try to stay positive. This is something that can be lived with, remember that when things get really hard.

Take care of yourself!

That was about my bed moving on it's own when I was a kid. It did that for over a year every night when I was 13. I've never made anything up here. There were other things I experienced as well. One was with another person (my brother). I'm far from being the only person paranormal stuff has happened to.


And I do appreciate your kind concern. Don't worry about the bed moving stuff though. ha

[Lightningwill_420]

Alex, you're the man. If you got some condition, it ain't your fault and you don't owe anybody an apology for it. It's like Stephen Hawking apologizing because he can't play soccer with me.

[Millionaire Wussy]

That was about my bed moving on it's own when I was a kid. It did that for over a year every night when I was 13. I've never made anything up here. There were other things I experienced as well. One was with another person (my brother). I'm far from being the only person paranormal stuff has happened to.


And I do appreciate your kind concern. Don't worry about the bed moving stuff though. ha

Screeme, actually I feel for you if you live with someone dealing with BPD. Take care of yourself. The emotional ride can be exhausting.

[Fleet]

You had nothing to do with Panama. Be well man. I have BPD. Ive been off meds for almost 2 years now. Im being treated by a chinese doctor through tea. Im much happier now that im off the meds that were killing my liver and health. CBD also really helps me. My episodes are pretty minor. And like you they are usually triggered by social anxiety. I train and train and train. Go on lots of hikes. Bought a boat and fishing is my meditation.

[Millionaire Wussy]

You had nothing to do with Panama. Be well man. I have BPD. Ive been off meds for almost 2 years now. Im being treated by a chinese doctor through tea. Im much happier now that im off the meds that were killing my liver and health. CBD also really helps me. My episodes are pretty minor. And like you they are usually triggered by social anxiety. I train and train and train. Go on lots of hikes. Bought a boat and fishing is my meditation.

Wow, did not know. FLEET, I admire the way you interact with others while having this disorder. Maybe there's different degrees to this stuff.