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[YAC]

We've got an emerging issue here that we absolutely need to talk about.

There's an epidemic around the league that's not only going to sink the NFL, but just perhaps all civilization with it.

What's going on with people's names in this mad world of ours? I'm just a humble database guy trying to build offseason guides for all 32 teams. It's pretty nifty but my spirit animal (porcupine) is about to spray needles at everyone and everything. We need a constitutional amendment immediately: all names in entirely must be 16 letters or less. No prefixes, or suffixes. Three or four syllables, max, and no fucking hyphens!

Is that too much to ask?

I have no problem with someone immigrating from Africa with a difficult name, but I constantly have to make extra allowances for weird, long names that have no justification. It just ain't right.

Let's start with this clown:

jordan.png

Hey Jordan, back in your Dutch days a century ago you might have felt comforted with all those fancy words in your name while you held your finger in a dyke , but how about picking one of your three last names and keeping life simple for the rest of us? A QB from decades ago can help you out: Steve DeBerg.



Next up:

2026-05-27_21-36-06.png
Hey Stribbles: your own daughter won't ever manage your name in a spelling bee. Your parents crapped the bed...get it changed.


Onwards: what's up with all the Juniors? Some call themselves x.Jr, and some gotta get real fancy. I can't help but hearing such names with the pretentiousness of one Thurmond Howell the Third from the 60's TV show. Please Gilligan, come help.

Zuhny Toons, Looney Tunes.

juniors.png

Then we've got those doing the Polysyllabic Peacock dance...Their long names sure make them more important than you! Little surprise that two of these clowns landed with the Patriots. Had they carried sensible, unpretentious names...they might not have been buried deep in the draft.

poly.png

[YAC]

Onto the hyphenated names. Dear Lord help us all. It's already crazy, but consider where this is headed with this hypothetical pickle:

Amon-Ra St. Brown's lady births a kid who grows up to play ball. His parents choose to keep independent last names, and the boy, named after his daddy, wants to honor that. So his name?
Amon-Ra St. Brown-Evensmith Jr..... or Amon-Ra St. Brown-Evensmith II

Multiply that another generation and we will spend all our days trying to learn/spell/type names that run on for lines. Play-by-play announcers will all be committed to an asylum for the trauma incurred. Me? By then happily dead.

Parents: Pick a name. Do it the right way or flip a coin. Get together on a name. For all that is holy and right and sensible and saves my life as a database developer. Amen and amen.

[YAC]

My last words for the evening:

-As I've said many times here, but must remind: not every word I post on this forum is *entirely* serious.

-No doubt dmac_bolt will try to tell you, given his recent theme, how I must just be jealous of those with more *substance* to their name than a simple guy like me. The sheer grandiose length of the their name, the superior syllable count, with a hyphen or two on top is certainly a trigger point for a weaker soul like me, he might say. (LOL)

He's asleep at the wheel, spinning psycho-babble. Meanwhile, someone must guard society. You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall!

[Boltjolt]

My last words for the evening:

-As I've said many times here, but must remind: not every word I say is *entirely* serious.

-No doubt dmac_bolt will try to tell you how I must just be jealous of those with more *substance* to their name than a simple guy like me.

He's asleep at the wheel, spinning psycho-babble. Meanwhile, someone must guard society. You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall!

Ok, is this one of those not entirely serious posts?........ Because I don't know wth you are talking about here lol
Certainly could be me. .... And I'll just admit it 🤷

[YAC]

Ok, is this one of those not entirely serious posts?........ Because I don't know wth you are talking about here lol
Certainly could be me. .... And I'll just admit it

It's a very whimsical trio of posts. Won't be everyone's cup of tea. Cheers.

[gzubeck]

It's a very whimsical trio of posts. Won't be everyone's cup of tea. Cheers.

Blame it on the Romans...LOL!

"Quintus Pompeius Senecio Sosius Priscus. Quintus Pompeius Senecio Sosius Priscus (fl. 2nd century) was a Roman senator who was appointed consul during the reign of Marcus Aurelius. His full name is the longest attested for any ancient Roman."

[dmac_bolt]

My last words for the evening:

-As I've said many times here, but must remind: not every word I post on this forum is *entirely* serious.

-No doubt dmac_bolt will try to tell you, given his recent theme, how I must just be jealous of those with more *substance* to their name than a simple guy like me. The sheer grandiose length of the their name, the superior syllable count, with a hyphen or two on top is certainly a trigger point for a weaker soul like me, he might say. (LOL)

He's asleep at the wheel, spinning psycho-babble. Meanwhile, someone must guard society. You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall!

You yearn for more words after name. YAC is WAN. Or, er, MWAN? Uh - YMWAN? Fuck - i blew it already! give me a minute … damnit …

[Velo]

Interesting discussion by Greg Cosell about why suddenly TEs are in vogue (22 drafted), plus the value of having that rare do-it-all safety.

Greg Cosell: WHY 22 tight ends were drafted and what it means for EVERY NFL offense

[Topcat]

We've got an emerging issue here that we absolutely need to talk about.

There's an epidemic around the league that's not only going to sink the NFL, but just perhaps all civilization with it.

What's going on with people's names in this mad world of ours? I'm just a humble database guy trying to build offseason guides for all 32 teams. It's pretty nifty but my spirit animal (porcupine) is about to spray needles at everyone and everything. We need a constitutional amendment immediately: all names in entirely must be 16 letters or less. No prefixes, or suffixes. Three or four syllables, max, and no fucking hyphens!

Is that too much to ask?

I have no problem with someone immigrating from Africa with a difficult name, but I constantly have to make extra allowances for weird, long names that have no justification. It just ain't right.

Let's start with this clown:

jordan.png

Hey Jordan, back in your Dutch days a century ago you might have felt comforted with all those fancy words in your name while you held your finger in a dyke , but how about picking one of your three last names and keeping life simple for the rest of us? A QB from decades ago can help you out: Steve DeBerg.

Next up:

2026-05-27_21-36-06.png
Hey Stribbles: your own daughter won't ever manage your name in a spelling bee. Your parents crapped the bed...get it changed.


Onwards: what's up with all the Juniors? Some call themselves x.Jr, and some gotta get real fancy. I can't help but hearing such names with the pretentiousness of one Thurmond Howell the Third from the 60's TV show. Please Gilligan, come help.

Zuhny Toons, Looney Tunes.

juniors.png

Then we've got those doing the Polysyllabic Peacock dance...Their long names sure make them more important than you! Little surprise that two of these clowns landed with the Patriots. Had they carried sensible, unpretentious names...they might not have been buried deep in the draft.

poly.png

Yep...as a teacher, I've run across some real weird names...a boy named "Rogue." Another kid whose middle name was "Chewbacca." Back in the day, Frank Zappa named his kids Moon Unit, Dweezil and Diva...and among Elon Musk's 14 children are X AE A-XII, Exa Dark Sideræl, Strider, Azure, Techno Mechanicus, Arcadia, Romulus, and Seldon Lycurgus...

[Velo]

I guess it's possible the Chargers could face Gardner Minshew or even Carson Beck in week 1. Jacoby Brissett is having a contract dispute with the Cardinals, and there is talk Ariz could cut him and save $6M against their cap. I wouldn't mind Brissett as Herbert's back up.

[dmac_bolt]

I guess it's possible the Chargers could face Gardner Minshew or even Carson Beck in week 1. Jacoby Brissett is having a contract dispute with the Cardinals, and there is talk Ariz could cut him and save $6M against their cap. I wouldn't mind Brissett as Herbert's back up.

95% certain LAC isn't going to make any QB2/3 change. I fully support AZ's continued disarray in the meantime. I like that our schedule gives The New Chargers 2 weeks of warmups to iron a few kinks out. If we are lucky, the games are easy enough (knock on wood, "no game is easy", blah blah) that Chef Mike does not have to divulge all of his secret new sauces before we hit the Contenders Row of the schedule.

But now that you mention it, I wouldn't mind some brisket for lunch. mmm

[Boltjolt]

Mahomes has been participating in OTA’s.

I’m thinking the same lot that assured us Slater would have to move to Guard and Mahomes couldn’t start the season are going to lose their internet orthopedic licenses.

Mahomes is still rehabbing. He has participated in 7 on 7 but they hold him out from doing 11 on 11. If Mahomes isnt 100%, he wont play week one. If he does and has any kind of setback, their season is done and Reed will get trashed. Facing Denvers defense isnt the best game to throw him out there.