OT: Asking For Prayers/Mojo - Religion Allowed - Fleet Approved

[FoutsFan]

It sounds like your son was a reservist or in the Guard and wasn't currently on active duty but did get the PTSD while he was on active status, so he should have been eligible for VA Health. The reason given for not being eligible for burial at a VA Cemetery was probably the same, not enough time in active service, but if he was under treatment for PTSD by the VA, he would have been. That won't help now, but I sense that he was not properly counseled on his rights and benefits or was listening to too many rumors that he would be screwed in his career if he got help. Its a shame that the Army was of no help, but its also a problem that there is a disconnect with the VA as well. The last thing a junior enlisted or officer would be thinking about is the VA. There was no guarantee that the VA would have helped, but they put mental health as a very high priority.

He was Army National Guard. Unfortunately his PTSD affected him regardless. The Army really treated him bad through out. They did not pay him for a long time, violated their end of the contract and did not give him the education benefits they promised. I reached out to Kevin McCarthy who was our congressman at that time. After Tommy had been yelled at and treated poorly every time he brought up issues it turns out that the Army messed up his paperwork as far back as Basic. McCarthy got things straightened out and Tommy’s officers that messed up took it out on him afterwards. It was a really ad experience overall. For him and our family.

[OG619FrightninLightnin]

I'm crushed reading this. I posted about losing my Father a few weeks back who also suffered through severe PTSD. When he came back from Southeast Asia the term PTSD hadn't even been invented yet.

We found his diary that he kept during the counseling he finally had access to and it broke my heart to read of his daily struggles.

The way this country treats its veterans is criminal.

I will never forgive the USA for spraying its own troops with Agent Orange and denying the problems it caused for 2 decades. To hear that young men and women are still being ostracized for mental health issues breaks my heart.

Bless you and your family sir.

[Duck of Death]

This is the sort of thing that helps me understand why folks delve so deep into seemingly meaningless things like pro football. I understand why folks sometimes fly off the handle for no apparent reason. I understand that we can never truly know what is happening in a person’s life. I understand that there is so much pain out there - and that folks are always trying different ways to cope. I cannot even begin to imagine what you’ve been through. All I can say is thank you for having the courage to share your story. I pray to the Heavenly Father to provide you and your family strength and resolve during this immensely challenging time.

[BayAreaBoltz]

My heart breaks for you and your family. What an immensely painful burden to bear. We all stand alongside you, wishing you nothing but the best going forward and hoping you can find peace in the storm and a path forward.

[PhilaBoltster]

I can’t even imagine what you are going through.
All I can think to say is always know that you are loved, you are important to your friends and loved ones, and you are important to this world. My best wishes to you and your family.

[chargeroo]

Wow, FF. I'm so sorry to read about this. I pray the Lord will help you and your entire family through this terrible time in your life. I ask God the Father to give you peace and love.I ask in Jesus name. Cling to your loved ones as much as possible. Be assured, when I tell people I will pray for them, I mean that to be a promise.

[CivilBolt]

Hang in there brother. Hopefully your faith will help you heal. I’ll keep your family in my prayers.

[FoutsFan]

Wow, FF. I'm so sorry to read about this. I pray the Lord will help you and your entire family through this terrible time in your life. I ask God the Father to give you peace and love.I ask in Jesus name. Cling to your loved ones as much as possible. Be assured, when I tell people I will pray for them, I mean that to be a promise.

Thank you Roo. I prayed for you, as well as others that have asked for it here. Its the hardest thing I have ever gone through and God alone has kept me sane and sober. I appreciate your prayers and everyone else's too.

One of my most favorite memories with both of my boys is that I baptized both of them> Tommy at our church and Isaac in the ocean at Ventura Beach. I know I will see them again someday and right now my life seems like a prison sentence here on Earth until that day. I know that I will heal to some degree, even though I am confident where they are I still miss them so much.

[FoutsFan]

Tommy has been emotionally difficult for a lot of extra reasons. I named him after my dad who passed away in a car accident on December 22nd 1977 when I was 7 years old. So losing 2 loved ones with the same name was just an extra sting. Tommy also shares his birthday with Junior Seau and we all know his tragic passing, its just a lot of reminders everywhere.

Also with the Army they arranged to pay for Tommy's military marker but when it came time they did not pay and cancelled it. They did not tell us with an email or a call or a letter. September when it had been six months as they said we should wait for it we called for an update, they just told me, yea we are not paying for it after all. Its not that I am stressed over the money to pay for the marker but their changing of their minds and not giving us a heads up. Now I had to re order the same one and it is going to take another six months for it to be completed. As OG619FrightninLightnin said, the we treat our veterans terrible, its just the callousness they have with the veterans and their families like hey just pick up the phone, leave a message or send a letter but they could not even be bothered to do that.

[OG619FrightninLightnin]

FoutsFan - my Dad received wonderful care in the VA ICU but as soon as he passed and his case was handed over to a bureaucrat it became a nightmare.

I ended up reaching out to the Patient Advocate dpt at the local VA hospital and they were a tremendous help. Might be worth a call..

[dmac_bolt]

FF, my prayers and condolences to you and your family. As a father of two, my only fear of leaving this rock was leaving them too soon and alone, and now they approach adulthood my only fear of the next life is seeing them go first. I cannot imagine your loss. God bless you.

May God look over you and your family and bring you comfort in this time …

[Fleet 1]

I am sorry for the loss of your sister. Loss of any kind is just brutal.

I cannot describe in totality my anger towards the Army now. After Tommy passed and I had to let them know of his passing. My first phone call the woman told me that he did not qualify for any Army benefits and I was on my own to bury him. All I asked for was an honor guard at his funeral and they said no. After I had submitted his DC to them I was flooded with calls from Army higher ups. When I explained what happened they all told me what was told to Tommy was not correct and the Army had many resources for the service men/women to have access to and they would not be held against them. I let all of them know that the truth was what was being told to him, not what they were telling me. I asked every single one of them why they are offering me all of these services and why they did not offer these once to my son? I let them know that what they were saying to me was only programs that were to be given at congressional oversight hearings but they were not real programs. Since 9/11 we have lost more service men/women to suicide than we have lost to our enemies in battle and obviously this message is not getting to were it needs to go to. I received silence for these points.

The Army after a week was telling me that they wanted to bury my son in the national cemetery here in Alabama but they kept dragging their feet and making excuses. Finally I said I will bury him in the same cemetery next to my other son. I was able to get an honor guard but it was me and the funeral director that made calls to his Army buddies and they came on their own.

The hardest thing I have ever done so far in my life and I hated every minute of it was picking out the clothes they would be buried in. We chose their clothes and a few other trinkets that would be added in their casket. Isaac was buried in his Joey Bosa Jersey and Tommy was buried in his jeans and Hawaiian shirt he loved along with his military blues which were folded at his feet.

Just so heavy reading this. My heart breaks. How would you like a Bolt Jersey...with Tommy and Isaac on the back nameplate. Ive never made a custom jersey...but i bet that could be done? You pick out the color and number...i can probably make that work

Aloha