OT: Asking For Prayers/Mojo - Religion Allowed - Fleet Approved

[Velo]

I am sorry for the loss of your sister. Loss of any kind is just brutal.

I cannot describe in totality my anger towards the Army now. After Tommy passed and I had to let them know of his passing. My first phone call the woman told me that he did not qualify for any Army benefits and I was on my own to bury him. All I asked for was an honor guard at his funeral and they said no. After I had submitted his DC to them I was flooded with calls from Army higher ups. When I explained what happened they all told me what was told to Tommy was not correct and the Army had many resources for the service men/women to have access to and they would not be held against them. I let all of them know that the truth was what was being told to him, not what they were telling me. I asked every single one of them why they are offering me all of these services and why they did not offer these once to my son? I let them know that what they were saying to me was only programs that were to be given at congressional oversight hearings but they were not real programs. Since 9/11 we have lost more service men/women to suicide than we have lost to our enemies in battle and obviously this message is not getting to were it needs to go to. I received silence for these points.

The Army after a week was telling me that they wanted to bury my son in the national cemetery here in Alabama but they kept dragging their feet and making excuses. Finally I said I will bury him in the same cemetery next to my other son. I was able to get an honor guard but it was me and the funeral director that made calls to his Army buddies and they came on their own.

The hardest thing I have ever done so far in my life and I hated every minute of it was picking out the clothes they would be buried in. We chose their clothes and a few other trinkets that would be added in their casket. Isaac was buried in his Joey Bosa Jersey and Tommy was buried in his jeans and Hawaiian shirt he loved along with his military blues which were folded at his feet.

I have no experience with the U.S. Army, I did not serve. But I thought the U.S. military was very cognizant of PTSD and made many resources available to those who suffered trauma in combat. It's disheartening to hear otherwise. In my father's day, they didn't recognize PTSD as a thing. They called it shell-shock and you got slapped by General Patton if you couldn't take it anymore. I'm a stickler for recognizing PTSD and ensuring our service men and woman have access to treatment, no questions asked. My dad's PTSD led to a lifetime of alcoholism after he returned from the war, and it killed him when I was 15. I can't stress enough how strongly I feel about the obligation we have to take care of our veterans. I am sickened by the number of veterans who are homeless as well. It feels like we throw their lives away.

[Berserker76]

So sorry for your loss. It's such an unbelievable loss to endure, I'm glad you are fighting through it. My prayers are with you and your loved ones. Thanks, Fleet, for approving this this. We are all one family here.

[Bolt-O]

It sounds like your son was a reservist or in the Guard and wasn't currently on active duty but did get the PTSD while he was on active status, so he should have been eligible for VA Health. The reason given for not being eligible for burial at a VA Cemetery was probably the same, not enough time in active service, but if he was under treatment for PTSD by the VA, he would have been. That won't help now, but I sense that he was not properly counseled on his rights and benefits or was listening to too many rumors that he would be screwed in his career if he got help. Its a shame that the Army was of no help, but its also a problem that there is a disconnect with the VA as well. The last thing a junior enlisted or officer would be thinking about is the VA. There was no guarantee that the VA would have helped, but they put mental health as a very high priority.

[Rugger05]

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. As a father I can only imagine the pain your family is going through. Your family will be in my families thoughts and prayers

[Maniaque 6]

It's difficult but you must stay strong.
My mother never recovered when my youngest brother died in 2013.
She has never been the same since. She died in 2018.

[NoMoreChillies]

I wish I could give you a hug. I am so sorry for your loss.

[QSmokey]

Wow...just wow. Your strength is enviable, otherworldly. Deepest condolences and endless prayers.

Jim

[WindsorUK]

I have no words.....
Sending mojo and love.
Stay strong FoutsFan.

[wu-dai clan]

FoutsFan, I am with you brother through these difficult days.

[Blue Thunder]

I can't imagine the pain you are enduring. My heart is broken for you. I'm sending thoughts and prayers (and mojo) for you and your family.

[FoutsFan]

It's difficult but you must stay strong.
My mother never recovered when my youngest brother died in 2013.
She has never been the same since. She died in 2018.

I completely understand this. There are many days that I struggle just to get out of bed and keep moving. My wife and I run a grief share small group through our church now to help others who have experienced loss. Every Wednesday night we host about 12-15 people at our house, serve dinner where we can talk and support each other, spiritually and emotionally. This has helped a lot.

[Heatmiser]

My heart just breaks for you. I am a Father, too. I don’t know if I would have the strength you do. Tonight my family will include you and your wife and your sons in our rosary. I am so very, very sorry.

TG