OT: Asking For Prayers/Mojo - Religion Allowed - Fleet Approved

[Boltjolt]

My deepest condolences to you FoutsFan. Can't imagine the pain from losing two Sons.
Man you must never know what someone is going thru. Takes strength to get thru such tragity and hope in the months since you have been able to mind some sort of peace.

Glad this place helps you cope and get away from the thoughts even if it cant be the most pleasant sometimes, but we are here for you!

[Budsman]

As a father of two I can feel your pain and it is scary to think how deep that is. I am struggling to cope with the suicide of my father which staggered me but the amount of pain and loss you’re going through is on a whole different level brother.

Suicide is so difficult and so painful on those who are left living. I know it sounds silly but I listened to an audio book that helped
me with my grief and how to process it it’s called “It’s ok that you’re not OK” by Megan Devine. I recommend the Audio book because it’s read by her and it hits the way it’s supposed to.

Tons of Mojo my man and I’m so sorry you have to go through that loss.

[FoutsFan]

As a father of two I can feel your pain and it is scary to think how deep that is. I am struggling to cope with the suicide of my father which staggered me but the amount of pain and loss you’re going through is on a whole different level brother.

Suicide is so difficult and so painful on those who are left living. I know it sounds silly but I listened to an audio book that helped
me with my grief and how to process it it’s called “It’s ok that you’re not OK” by Megan Devine. I recommend the Audio book because it’s read by her and it hits the way it’s supposed to.

Tons of Mojo my man and I’m so sorry you have to go through that loss.

I am sorry for your loss. One of the things I have learned in grief counseling is that there is no loss greater that anyone else. Everyone's loos is personal to them and affects them differently. My boys loss to me is different than my wife's, even though they were our boys. I have heard of that book and will look into it. I have spent my time so far with the Bible and prayer, God has been very good to me and my family. Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted." We have been blessed and comforted on a level that I cannot begin to articulate.

I will keep you in my prayers.

[jox g]

Before I get into details, I want to let everyone know I spoke with Fleet before and made sure I had his blessing before I posted this.

Below is a photo of myself and my 2 boys from the Falcons Chargers game last year. My youngest son Isaac is the one in the middle. He was 17 at that time. He had severe psoriatic arthritis. By the time he reached 17 he had the body of an 85-year-old arthritic man. In late 22 he was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor. He suffered from the joint pain for may years but his pain from the tumor was very intense. On February 17^th this year he took his life, no notes or anything. This was devastating to me and my family. We knew he was suffering but it still took us by surprise, he never gave us any problems for anything, until he did, and there was no coming back from it.

My oldest son Tommy, on the right, was a second Lieutenant in the Army. He suffered from severe PTSD from his time serving. The Army told him that if he were to get any help he would be either medically discharged or at best his career would be over and he would just stay where he was now, never advancing. On the one month anniversary (Friday March 17^th) of Isaac passing Tommy took his life. He left some notes and journals that told us about his struggles. He said that Isaac’s passing basically pushed him over the edge and he could not get help without the Army finding out. Indeed, when my wife and I were going to counseling we found a retired military guy who was willing to meet with Tommy off the record and bill me instead of Tommy, he said no, the army will find out.
They say no parent should have to bury their child, this is true. No parent should have to see their child in that situation. I was the one to find my 17-year-old, this is a trauma that no parent should have to see. For months this was the image that I saw every time I closed my eyes. Tommy was not home and we could not find him all evening until the cops found him later that night. If you can please keep my family in your prayers and/or send mojo our way. This has been the most difficult year of my life. If it were not for my faith in God, my life would be significantly different with how we are dealing with this. I have asked God to blur the image of my son when I found him, I still see that image, but he has been faithful and I no longer see my son with any detail. Dealing with the Army has been traumatic in of itself and a story for a different time.
I
Thank you for letting me post this and for any thoughts and prayers. Putting this here and talking about it is helping me get through this situation. Sorry to be a downer and putting a heavy heart on the Bolt family here I just needed to keep processing this to heal.





Chargers Game.jpg

Process Therapy Institute in in San Jose, CA. They helped me overcome my COMPLEX PTSD from childhood. It only took 5 months of going every week on Zoom. My wife says it's been the best year of our 23 years of marriage! My 20 yo daughter said, "I dunno it's your new church or your therapy but you are different (in a good good way) In Matthew 4:23, Jesus came to preach AND HEAL. This is the healing. Julia Chaffin is a Christian and works there. She helped me but any of them using Family Systems (therapy style is very effective) will do! God bless.

Also, feel free to read and put this up in your home (true stories from WW1 and more) for protection.https://sogreatlyoved.blog/2018/02/2...of-protection/
Only works for believers. When I had Covid symptoms or pains, I would hold the body part that was in pain while praying this prayer, illnesses never progressed. I healed fast.

[FoutsFan]

Process Therapy Institute in in San Jose, CA. They helped me overcome my COMPLEX PTSD from childhood. It only took 5 months of going every week on Zoom. My wife says it's been the best year of our 23 years of marriage! My 20 yo daughter said, "I dunno it's your new church or your therapy but you are different (in a good good way) In Matthew 4:23, Jesus came to preach AND HEAL. This is the healing. Julia Chaffin is a Christian and works there. She helped me but any of them using Family Systems (therapy style is very effective) will do! God bless.

Also, feel free to read and put this up in your home (true stories from WW1 and more) for protection.https://sogreatlyoved.blog/2018/02/2...of-protection/
Only works for believers. When I had Covid symptoms or pains, I would hold the body part that was in pain while praying this prayer, illnesses never progressed. I healed fast.

I am glad for you. Keep the faith, I’ll pray for you.

[Stinky Wizzleteats+]

Prayers and mojo on the way!

[La Costa Boy]

Rather than pray for "Fouts Fan" could I at least know you and your wife's first names? I will gladly add you to my prayers.

[Midwestbolt]

My sincere condolences. Sending a prayer to you from the midwest tonight.

[FoutsFan]

Rather than pray for "Fouts Fan" could I at least know you and your wife's first names? I will gladly add you to my prayers.

Rob and Lety.

Thank you

[MakoShark]

Rob and Lety, I'm so sorry. Wish I had something prophetic to say. I can feel your pain and it brings back the feelings I had when my daughter was battling the big C. This board is very therapeutic, so lean on us and we'll help you get through.

I was at that game in ATL last year too. Wish I could have met you and those good looking young men. As a Veteran I'm ashamed at how the Army treated your eldest.

[floydefisher]

My heart sank when I read this.

Praying for you. You need it.

[FoutsFan]

Today is the 17th, it marks 8 months for Isaac and 7 months for Tommy. I need to write so forgive me if I ramble a little. There is a Bojangles not very far from where I used to live, Isaac worked there. I remember one day driving past it I said to my wife, I don't know why but I can never eat at Bojangles again. She said that is because when you found him he was wearing his Bojangles shirt. He had gotten ready for work when he passed. There was so much chaos that day I did not even remember him wearing that shirt but subconsciously I knew it and was just repulsed at the thought of going there for any reason, Bojangles was not to blame, he liked working there but its weird how your mind picks up on things that you do not remember at first.

When Isaac passed God had put it in my heart that I was to give the Eulogy for him at his celebration of life. I told my wife this and she said that I should let Isaac's youth pastor do it as I would not be in any shape to speak. I told her no this is my assignment and I will do it. The next couple of days I had a dream each night. Normally I do not remember my dreams at all, maybe 1 a year and only fragments of the dream. This dream was the same every night, me giving Isaac's eulogy, I remembered parts of it vividly and would get up in the morning and type it out on a word document I left open on my computer. At the end of the week, I had the eulogy in total. I gave it and it went well. I was a basket case after but not during. Several people came up to me afterword's and thanked me as it was just what they needed to hear at that time.

Tommy's was different, I was still reeling from Isaac. When Tommy passed at first I was for lack of a better word shell shocked. I was numb had just started to move again in the shattered pieces of my former life. God once again put it on my heart to give Tommy's eulogy. I did not get any dreams for his, I knew there were going to be a lot of his Army buddies there so I wrote it more of a fighting theme, speaking about always having your defenses up, not giving in to darkness when it comes from the enemy either in the form of PTSD, depression or just dealing with life. I made it through the service, this was more difficult for me this time but I made sure to speak with all the military folks there and stressed o them to get their lives right with God and if they are fighting with themselves, NEVER do it alone but immediately reach out to a friend or loved one for help. Just talking about it even if they are not a therapist is helpful, getting it off your chest and venting. We all need that and if we sit and grind on it internally you will spiral out of control at some point. I said to think of Tommy, how he did not discuss his feelings with anyone but did as the Army said and pushed the cork down the bottle neck further. One day that cork will blow and you will either hurt yourself, your family/friends or innocent bystanders.

People think suicide just affects the close family and they will get over it quickly. It does not, it affects a huge amount of people. Not just family and friends who are now wounded for a life time, there is not getting back to normal, there is only moving forward in a new maybe healed maybe broken life. All the 1st responders and sheriffs who had to deal with this are now affected. When Isaac passed I saw a couple of deputies at my house that were tearing up and my wife and I ministered to them. These first responders are just people too and they deal with all of these issues and PTSD from there jobs. Tommy was pushed over the edge by Isaac, the reach is far.

Thank you Fleet for giving me this space to write and put my thoughts down. It helps a lot, especially today.